“It was weird to be married; you kind of lose your identity. You’re suddenly somebody’s wife. And you’re like, ‘Oh, I’m half of a couple now. I’ve lost me.”‘
Angelina Jolie
Has your identity ever been defined by your relationship? I saw this editorial of Hailey Beiber for Elle March 2020 and thought about how one’s spouse can really define how she is perceived by other people.
A few people have commented that Hailey Beiber is mostly known for being Justin Bieber’s wife. They made snarky remarks about how she’s only famous for being married to someone famous and that it is sad for a woman’s magazine to elevate someone because of her spouse. I don’t know much about her, but thought well, when you are first introduced to a couple, don’t you usually think of them as a group or spouse of one and other? When the world is opened up from a famous husband’s angle, it’s natural that the wife will at first be known for her more famous counterpart.
I remember moving here years ago and meeting new friends. We were newlyweds and newly married. Everyone we met thought of us as a unit. Yes we even got a couple nickname, similar to Brangelina. But eventually people remembered us for our separate traits – my husband for his sometimes inappropriate humor and me for my love of baking. When people refer to me as my husband’s wife, it is motivation for me to express myself even more. I want to convey my love for design, my penchant for immersing kids in multiple languages, and my love for increasingly keto friendly goods. Then, I hope even my husband’s friends know me for me.
Your partner and even your kids are important, but you are more than a key person in their lives. Just don’t remember to show people who you are.
Have a lovely week!
Our friends tease my husband and I because we are very close in a way that is almost co-dependent. That doesn’t mean we’ve lost our individual identities but we don’t mind being known as a unit.
I confess I didn’t even know Justin Beiber got married, haha! I haven’t heard of his wife before but she looks beautiful. I think it’s easier to keep your sense of self if you have different friend groups – while all our friends are “our” friends now, I’m still friends with those I knew before I got married and so they always knew me as me, before my husband came along 🙂
Hope that you are having a nice weekend 🙂 It’s a rainy day here – perfect weather for continuing to isolate at home!